The good news, no, the GREAT news is that I FEEL GREAT! My body has pretty much healed up, and I have a ton of energy. My family and friends now have to deal with my endless need to create, plan, act, dream, talk and make people laugh. The good news is that I feel like myself again.
The bad news is that my forced “sabbatical” introduced me to some pretty dark thoughts. Actually, I don’t know if it introduced those thoughts as much as unearthed deep-seated beliefs that I didn’t know were there. They are impractical fears and ugly beliefs based on experiences that I witnessed but never personally had. My mind is MUCH better today because I was forced to work on it the last three months, but there are some residual thoughts there much like the residual symptoms that let me know my body is strong but still completing the healing process.
So, I decided to go on a thought fast. Basically, for the next six months, I’m giving up entertainment like tv, movies, music (le sigh) in exchange for reading that will enhance my thought life (i.e. the Bible and books on subjects that will help me level up).
Why so long? Well, I realize that most of these thoughts have been dormant in my mind for years, some of them at least a decade. I’ve allowed the circumstances of life to “dump” these ideas into my subconscious mind without evaluation or challenge. This is my way to aggressively acknowledge my thought life while still being kind to myself. Instead of distracting myself from my thoughts, I’ll be addressing them and filling my mind with new thoughts: creating my new life from the inside out.
Why not food? The last three months I’ve basically only eaten fruits, vegetables, nuts. I ate very little meat on occasion to for nutrients, but that’s pretty much it. I’m ready to round out the food groups again, in moderation. But my nutrition isn’t the root issue, my thought life is. I’m doing a “cleanse” for the mind.
What am I hoping to get out of this experience? A stronger mind. I want my knee-jerk mental reaction to be positivity, rather than the absolute worst. I also want to see progress in my professional life, which I’ve hindered with years of my mental negativity. Lastly, I want to see the complete manifestation of healing in my physical body; I want the healthiest, strongest version of my body that I’ve ever had. So, a fast is worth it in my opinion.
I hope the experience is awesome! It might be boring over time. Who knows? I’ve never fasted this long for anything. I’m proud of myself for taking this step to better myself. I just ask that you pray for your girl because six months is a long time. I promise to keep you posted!
About me . . .
I'm Cyrah Hill. I'm a woman of faith, an actor and an everyday black girl.