I know it's been forever since I've posted to the blog, but it's actually a sign of growth. The last quarter of 2019 I went through some major personal and professional changes. To be honest, I didn't have the words to explain the experience in writing, so I just pressed pause. It turned out to be a super healthy choice for me because today I am better mentally than I've been in a long time.
I know we've talked about my choice to jump into therapy to work on my mental health, so much of last year was dedicated to that work. It started out interesting and somewhat fun, and I thought doing the work would be just that: cute. Turns out, doing the work opened me up in unexpected ways. It made me finally face the trauma of my past that started all my sucky thought and behavior patterns. It was messy. Very messy. But I finally got clarity and the healing I needed.
I'm happy to say that today my mind is in a good space. I'm content. Things internally are pretty quiet. There are still moments when my mind and body react in unhealthy, irrational ways, but now I know something simple triggered it, like being tired. Other than these rare moments, my inner life is pretty peaceful, and it scares me a little. Now my challenge is learning how to function as a mentally healthier person and not revert back to disfunction. It was unhealthy but it was familiar, so staying healthy is a choice I have to make every day. Every day I prioritize nourishing my spirit, and I'm still in therapy.
What really helped me get to my root issues? I can tell you that a painful experience started the whole thing. I'm not going to tell you that whole story here because: I'm not ready, and I'd prefer to share it with you artistically when I'm ready. Just know that you will know one day.
For now, thank you so much for just taking the journey with me. I'm going to pause on the blog and start something new. Since I have this renewed sense of clarity, I feel like I'm starting from scratch as an adult and as an artist. So, I'm vlogging about that experience. Specifically, I'm vlogging about treating my acting career like a business (instead of a dream) and the weekly actions I have to take to make that happen.
You can find those updates on IG @cyrahhill and on Facebook. I think it's going to be fun! If last year was about personal vulnerability, this year is mostly going to be about professional vulnerability.
Thank you again for riding with me so consistently, and if you have any questions or comments, let me know ;).
All love and hugs,
About me . . .
I'm Cyrah Hill. I'm a woman of faith, an actor and an everyday black girl.